Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
