Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
