so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
