you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize