Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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