Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
