we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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