I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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