I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
