found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
