I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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