Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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