whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
