Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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