Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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