Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
