i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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