No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
