..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
