How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
