Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
