you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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