i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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