There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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