This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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