my vag is so smooth its legendary
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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