I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize