the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.