found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me