Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
