He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
