How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
