Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
