Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
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We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We are all done wearing pants today
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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