I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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