Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize