I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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