I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my liver is dry heaving
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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