Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
