I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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