Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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