Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
