well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
