it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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