Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
