Screwed.edu
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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