I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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