we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
