i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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