I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
