You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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