His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize