Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
