I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize