Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
