What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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