I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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