It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
