Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
