dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
