your thong is hanging out like whoa
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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